Monday, April 15, 2013

The New Law of Attraction

While it's not technically a religion, the Law Of Attraction is based on the idea that there's a greater force at work in the world. A force that guides our thoughts and actions and drives our successes and failures throughout our lives. What is that force? Why, it's the universe, itself!

I know what you're thinking. "What a load of bull!" But it's true! It's a scientific fact that the thoughts and energy you send out into the universe dictate your destiny. Law Of Attraction is based on decades of scientific research, but I won't bore you with all that science here. I've seen it in action, so you can just take my word for it!

How Does LOA Work?

It's all very technical and confusing, so I won't bury you in jargon before you've had a chance to try this fantastic scientific principle for yourself. Instead, I'll just give you a simple example. Say you find an envelope in your mailbox. It's from the power company. Were you expecting a big fat check from the power company? Of course not! You know it's your monthly power bill, and when you open the envelope, you'll find exactly what you expected.

But what if you decided to expect a check, instead? According to the Law Of Attraction, if you tell the universe you're expecting a check from the power company, that's exactly what you'll get! In fact, whenever I get a shutoff notice from the power company, I just let the universe know that I'm expecting to see that check. When it arrives (usually within a few hours), I pay the utility company with their own money!  Go ahead. Give it a try.

Did it work? No? Well, it's probably your own fault. Either you didn't ask correctly, or you just didn't believe it would work. Try again, but first consider these helpful tips:

* Don't focus on things you don't want! Don't tell the universe you want to get out of debt. If you put the word "Debt" out there, guess what you'll get back. Tell the universe that you want a thousand dollars. Or a million. Or a billion. Then just sit back and wait for it to arrive!
* Visualize it! The universe is awesome and all powerful, but it's not very good with words. By visualizing your life's desire, you can send the universe a picture of the exact thing you're asking for. Don't forget to visualize it in the color you want!
* Trust the universe! A little faith goes a long way. If you did it right, it will come. No need to keep requesting the same thing. The universe is a busy place. The last thing it needs is to listen to you droning on and on about your damned bunny slippers!
* Step aside! Wishes are often answered suddenly and without warning. If you wished for something heavy, get the Hell out of the way! It would be a bitch to finally get that Mercedes you asked for, then be crushed by it before you even had a chance to get behind the wheel!

The New and Improved Universe

In the past, it was necessary to actually wish out loud or write your desire down where it could be found by someone else. Imagine you're running a political campaign and you write down your wish for the universe to strike your opponent dead. If anyone were to find that little Post-It note, you just know they would find a way to make it seem like a bad thing.

Or, worse yet, you're an average Joe making a humble request of the universe. You utter your wish aloud and, just as you're asking the burning question, one of your biker buddies walks by and overhears the whole thing. He races back to the clubhouse and tells Bluto and Scabs that he just heard you asking the universe for some pink bunny slippers. You're never gonna live that one down. Fortunately, you never have to worry about these kinds of scenarios again.

Enterprising jackalope that I am, I've traveled to many exotic locales to learn the inner workings of the universe. I've communed with Bigfoot and Yeti, I have swam with the Loch Ness monster, navigated the fifth dimension, and even visited with our ancestors on Alpha Centauri. I've learned all the secrets of the universe and used this sacred knowledge to create the first and only website dedicated to personal gain through Law of Attraction. is your one-stop-shop for all requests of the universe! The site is directly linked to the universal consciousness, so there's no reason to speak your desire or write anything down. In other words, you can now wish for anything at all and leave no evidence behind!

It is still in BETA testing, and does have some bugs; but the parent corporation, Jackalope Enterprises, is working through these early issues as we speak. In the meantime, why not head over and start getting everything you ever wished for? I do, however, suggest that you read our Terms of Service prior to making any request. Violations bring grave consequences!

Jackalope Enterprises- We make our money the old fashioned way… By talking you into giving us yours. is brought to you by Jackalope Enterprises LLC. and is intended to be used for entertainment purposes only!

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