Monday, April 15, 2013

The New Law of Attraction

While it's not technically a religion, the Law Of Attraction is based on the idea that there's a greater force at work in the world. A force that guides our thoughts and actions and drives our successes and failures throughout our lives. What is that force? Why, it's the universe, itself!

I know what you're thinking. "What a load of bull!" But it's true! It's a scientific fact that the thoughts and energy you send out into the universe dictate your destiny. Law Of Attraction is based on decades of scientific research, but I won't bore you with all that science here. I've seen it in action, so you can just take my word for it!

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Killer Hunter Sausage Recipe

Everybody loves hunter sausage. For some of us it's a year-round treat; and what could be better than hunter sausage made with real hunter?

You may be skeptical about using a real hunter for your hunter sausage, and I can't really blame you. Most of us consider them a nuisance species,stomping through the woods with rifles, looking to kill us poor, defenseless animals. But they do have their uses. Much like the pesky Nutra Rat, hunters are ugly, bothersome, ill-tempered creatures.

But when prepared correctly, they can be absolutely delicious! Enjoy this hunter sausage recipe and don't forget to share it with your friends!

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Have You Seen My Wife's Ass?

I was watching my wife's ass one day, not too long ago. It was big and beautiful, swaying majestically before
me. It was that time of day, just before the sun goes down, when the light pools on the ground like a golden elixir of the gods. In that beautiful twilight hour my wife's ass was absolutely breathtaking. It was then and there that I decided it was high time that ass got the attention that it so richly deserved. So, off I went to get my camera. It was all downhill from there, I'm afraid.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

B.T. Evilpants For Prez

My fellow Americans; after watching the spectacle that is the American electoral process, I have decidedhe interest of patriotism, altruism, and several other isms that escape me at the moment, I am willing to subject myself to the rather distasteful task of serving as your president.
that it is time for this Jackalope to take action. I will consent to the many requests I have received, and hereby announce my candidacy for the highest office in the land. In t

Until now, I have heard many people refer to this election as a choice between the lesser of two evils. With me in the race, it becomes a simple choice between the evil you know, and the evil you don't know.

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Joseph Ducreux Meme - Archaic Rap Goes Classic Rock

Like hilarious memes? So do I! I happened to stumble across a site where you can create your own, and on a day that I had loads of time to kill. That's a dangerous combo!

So who is Joseph Ducreux? He was a French artist, born in 1735.  Ducreux was proficient in several disciplines, but is probably best known for his portraiture. In fact, he was the portrait artist in the court of Louis XVI. Nowadays his most famous portrait is probably his self portrait ca. 1793. What makes it famous? It's the basis of hundreds of internet memes that have been circulating, especially on sites like Pinterest.

If Ducreux were around today to see the grammatical horrors perpetrated in his name, and alongside his own face, he would probably die of embarrassment or suffer a psychotic break. What am I talking about? Just click "Read More" to see them in all their glory. Since the Joseph Ducreux archaic rap memes never fail to entertain me, I decided to try my hand at few of them. I'm no fan of rap, however, so I took them in my own direction. I'm sure poor Joe is rolling in his grave!

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

The Legend Of B.T. Easterpants, Or I Was A Teenage Easter Jackalope

The Ugly Truth Finally Comes Out

It was bound to come out sooner or later, so I may as well come clean right here and now. I wasn't always the evil genius that you see before you. Well, maybe I was, but there was a time when evildoing was just not profitable. Nobody was hiring villains. You couldn't find an evil sidekick gig, or even a position as a lowly minion. It just wasn't a good time to be openly evil, and a guy had to do what a guy had to do; you know?