Thursday, April 11, 2013

Have You Seen My Wife's Ass?

I was watching my wife's ass one day, not too long ago. It was big and beautiful, swaying majestically before
me. It was that time of day, just before the sun goes down, when the light pools on the ground like a golden elixir of the gods. In that beautiful twilight hour my wife's ass was absolutely breathtaking. It was then and there that I decided it was high time that ass got the attention that it so richly deserved. So, off I went to get my camera. It was all downhill from there, I'm afraid.

A Fine Ass, Remembered

Gray Donkey
Have You Seen This Ass?
As I said, it was a beautiful ass. Sure it was a little out of shape, but  it still had a few good years left in it and we had shared a lot of great memories .

I'll never forget the day my wife took her ass to the county fair. She won the blue ribbon in the "most beautiful ass" competition. After the ribbon ceremony, children lined up to ride her ass around the grounds. Parents were snapping photos, there was live news coverage; it was a proud day for us both!

And talk about a hard worker! My wife could plow the straightest row I've ever seen with her ass. It took a little longer that way, but the result was well worth it. Of course, as time went by, it got more difficult. Asses can get so fat and lazy over time. There were days when I had to drag her ass out of bed, to get anything done. But once I got that ass in motion, there was no stopping it.

Then there was the time that I had a little too much to drink, at a party. I started a game of "Pin The Tail On My Wife's Ass."  Needless to say, she was less than enthused. To this day I am still hearing about that one. Every time I crack a beer I hear "Don't you even think about touching my ass!" Ok, ok, lesson learned.

Perhaps my fondest memory was the time I donned my leather chaps and cowboy hat and rode her ass all the way into town. People were coming out of their houses to watch us go by; pointing and laughing. I remember old Homer Shagnasty shouting: "Way to go B.T.! You ride that ass all the way to Indiana, Boy!" Good times.

How Could I Let Such An Incredible Ass Get Away?

Back to the point of this sad tale. I started out to do a pictorial tribute to this amazing ass. But again, I may have had one or two beers too many. That's kind of a pattern with me. What can I say? I really like beer.

So anyway, I had my wife's ass in front of me. It was all centered in the frame (and I had to take several steps back, to get it all in there), but something just didn't look right. It needed some finishing touches.
So after I swatted the flies that were buzzing around her ass, I grabbed the hair brush. I had to be sure the hair was laying just right because, as you well know, there is no sadder sight than an ass with a cowlick.

Everything was just about perfect and I was putting a big pink bow on top to complete the effect, when that damned ass kicked me and bolted from the barn. I was in utter shock as I watched it jump over the apple cart and disappear over the horizon. Even in my state of shock, I was able to think quickly enough to snap one picture as it ran away. Please look at it carefully, so that you can identify this ass if it should turn up in your area.

Searching In The Dark

When I told my wife that I had accidentally set her ass free, she was absolutely beside herself. I wisely stayed downwind, so she couldn't smell the beer, but I'm pretty sure she knew anyway.

After I had calmed her down, we began to search. We searched throughout the afternoon and into the night. The search was fruitless, though. It had gotten too dark to see. Even with both hands outstretched, so as not to bump into anything, we couldn't find her ass in the dark.

I Need Your Help!

We continue to search, but I fear that this ass has had too much of a head start. I'm not even sure that it's still in this state. All I am asking is that you keep your eyes open. If you should see my wife's ass, please grab it. Just shoot me an email or leave a comment here. I'll be over as soon as I can to ride my wife's ass home.
In the meantime, the stall where her ass spent so many happy years remains sadly empty. I don't think that I can buy her a new ass. She was so attached to the old one that it just wouldn't be the same. I have heard that chickens eat less and require less space, so that seems like a reasonable option. Maybe I'll give her a nice cock to play with.

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